Grandios, davon sollte man ein paar Punkte im Repertorie haben:
- Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write «for sexual favors».
- Specify that your drive-through order is «TO-GO».
- If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
- Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
- Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions «to keep them tuned up».
- Reply to everything someone says with «that’s what you think».
- Practice making fax and modem noises.
- Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and «cc» them to your boss.
- Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
- Finish all your sentences with the words «in accordance with prophesy».
- Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
- Disassemble your pen and «accidentally» flip the ink cartridge across the room.
- Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
- Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you «like it that way».
- Staple pages in the middle of the page.
- Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
- Honk and wave to strangers.
- Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
- TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
- type only in lowercase.
- dont use any punctuation either
- Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
- Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
«DO YOU HEAR THAT?»
«What?»
«Never mind, it’s gone now.» - As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce «No, wait, I messed it up», and repeat.
- Ask people what gender they are.
- While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
- Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
- Sing along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
- Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about «psychological profiles».
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