{"id":701,"date":"2010-01-23T07:22:47","date_gmt":"2010-01-23T06:22:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michaelbuechler.ch\/blog\/?p=701"},"modified":"2010-01-23T14:13:31","modified_gmt":"2010-01-23T13:13:31","slug":"how-to-tick-people-off","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michaelbuechler.ch\/blog\/2010\/01\/23\/how-to-tick-people-off\/","title":{"rendered":"How to tick people off"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Grandios, davon sollte man ein paar Punkte im Repertorie haben:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.<\/li>\n<li>In the memo field of all your checks, write \u00abfor sexual favors\u00bb.<\/li>\n<li>Specify that your drive-through order is \u00abTO-GO\u00bb.<\/li>\n<li>If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.<\/li>\n<li>Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.<\/li>\n<li>Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions \u00abto keep them tuned up\u00bb.<\/li>\n<li>Reply to everything someone says with \u00abthat&#8217;s what you think\u00bb.<\/li>\n<li>Practice making fax and modem noises.<\/li>\n<li>Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and \u00abcc\u00bb them to your boss.<\/li>\n<li>Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.<\/li>\n<li>Finish all your sentences with the words \u00abin accordance with prophesy\u00bb.<\/li>\n<li>Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.<\/li>\n<li>Disassemble your pen and \u00abaccidentally\u00bb flip the ink cartridge across the room.<\/li>\n<li>Holler random numbers while someone is counting.<\/li>\n<li>Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you \u00ablike it that way\u00bb.<\/li>\n<li>Staple pages in the middle of the page.<\/li>\n<li>Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.<\/li>\n<li>Honk and wave to strangers.<\/li>\n<li>Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.<\/li>\n<li>TYPE IN UPPERCASE.<\/li>\n<li>type only in lowercase.<\/li>\n<li>dont use any punctuation either<\/li>\n<li>Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.<\/li>\n<li>Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.<br \/>\n\u00abDO YOU HEAR THAT?\u00bb<br \/>\n\u00abWhat?\u00bb<br \/>\n\u00abNever mind, it&#8217;s gone now.\u00bb<\/li>\n<li>As much as possible, skip rather than walk.<\/li>\n<li>Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce \u00abNo, wait, I messed it up\u00bb, and repeat.<\/li>\n<li>Ask people what gender they are.<\/li>\n<li>While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.<\/li>\n<li>Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.<\/li>\n<li>Sing along at the opera.<\/li>\n<li>Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn&#8217;t rhyme.<\/li>\n<li>Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about \u00abpsychological profiles\u00bb.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/artlung.com\/smorgasborg\/how_to_tick_people_off.shtml\" target=\"_blank\">Hier<\/a> gefunden.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Grandios, davon sollte man ein paar Punkte im Repertorie haben: Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies. In the memo field of all your checks, write \u00abfor sexual favors\u00bb. Specify that your drive-through order is \u00abTO-GO\u00bb. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[33],"class_list":["post-701","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-allgemein","tag-gefunden"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelbuechler.ch\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/701","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelbuechler.ch\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelbuechler.ch\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelbuechler.ch\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelbuechler.ch\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=701"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/michaelbuechler.ch\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/701\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":735,"href":"https:\/\/michaelbuechler.ch\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/701\/revisions\/735"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michaelbuechler.ch\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=701"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelbuechler.ch\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=701"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michaelbuechler.ch\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=701"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}